(Source: betty-and-veronica)

Colin:  I think that men don’t get sick that often, but when they do get sick they go down hard. And I know this is probably very unpopular and will break up my marriage, but women get sick all the time! All the freakin’ time! Oh, and they have to tell you as well! “Ohh, I’ve got a headache. Ohh, I’ve got a sore heel. Ohh, I sneezed yesterday.” I mean, you know!

Claire: Well, if you’d have a decent conversation with us, we wouldn’t have to try talking to you all the time about things! If you’d just tell us how you feel for once!

Colin: But the thing is you talk too much and we don’t talk enough! That’s the thing, you talk to much!

Claire: Your mother warned me it would be like this!

(Source: readysteadycolin)

(Source: betty-and-veronica)

“WikiLeaks is back, baby! And this time nothing can stand in our way!”

“Except an accusation of sexual assault.”

“You really know how to ruin a moment, don’t you?”

(Source: betty-and-veronica, via mebee)

betty-and-veronica:

“I need to ‘age him up’. Will small amounts of of sunlight make him look a few years older?”

It used to be that you could make a vampire look older by simply dressing him in cardigans and encouraging him to sit down a lot. Unfortunately, that look has been adopted of late by fashionable younger men, who like nothing better than to wear cardigans and sit down a lot. I’m looking at you, Josh Thomas.

Love Bites: 101 tips for dating guys with Fangs
By Claire Hooper 

(via zoebells)

(Source: clairehooper)

(Source: portsunrise)

“For most young comedians I’d say: pull your finger out and go for it! Nothing will happen until you start taking it seriously. But never be too serious as you’ll never find that special magic that only comes with hope, and with no hope, it’ll destroy you.”

(Source: joshlyman)

things to do when everyone else is watching the state of origin: by claire hooper 

1. You could use this as an opportunity to go and throw out all of the underpants in the house with holes in them, which I would find fascinating compared to watching the State of Origin.
2. Two and a half hours could be spent standing behind the TV and pretending that everyone in the family is watching you for two and a half hours. Get a bit of attention!
3. You might not think you can watch grass grow, but in fact in the two and a half hours that the State of Origin is on, it will grow up to half a millimetre! It’s true! Although, probably more like a tenth of a millimetre, but still. Sit really close and you might see it.
4. Take a radio, tinsel, a lava lamp and glass of wine into the kitchen and set up a mix dance party. Then whenever any of your family members come in for a drink or something, you can dance up to them and go, “Hey, do you come here often?”
5. Run a bath and since you can’t have the TV, act out one of your favourite movies over two and a half hours with the bath toys.
6. Find all the cameras and camera-phones in the house and while everybody else is focused on the TV, take pictures of yourself wearing their clothes. And you might have to wait a couple weeks before anyone notices, but that is gonna be worth the effort.

Colin: Those muffins sound good, don’t they?

Claire: Your muffins sound good.

I have to reblog this again just now.

(via fuckyeahlanoandwoodley)

INSTANT REBLOG.

(Source: betty-and-veronica)

(Source: readysteadycolin)